Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick

Taken from here:

A caller found blood on the sheets in a Wheat Drive motel room and thought it was related to the recent shooting. Officers determined it wasn't.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

No dude, just no. Just... yikes. I am simultaneously horrified and amused, both of these emotions stirred in nearly epic levels. This totally obliterates any sorrow from receiving my second rejection letter today (from UMass).